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Stopping Co Sleeping: Before you start

I feel it necessary before we start to advise of our ethos: we don’t judge ever!

So before we receive any judgemental posts about Co Sleeping etc we don’t care for those opinions. 

We did what was right for our family in order to give us all peace of mind and we believe that’s what we’re all trying to do at the end of the day.

Now that’s been said: we will begin with our journey;

It was the night after having our little one an anxiety switch flicked inside me and I couldn’t put him to lie down in the bassinet next to my bed on the maternity ward. All the crying babies; the lady next door…we’re all too much for me to bare including the added pressure of not being able to feed my little one. So I propped us up in bed and held him all night. 

There was also the fact he coughed and choked whilst laying on his back that made me change my entire thinking about the advice of putting babies to sleep on their backs.

So on the second night of literally no sleep, I contacted the other half and said we were ready to come home.

His Moses basket was ready. But no matter what we did he wouldn’t settle in there. He cried grunted and griped all night. He had colic. He wasn’t doing well with the formula we were on either.

He was settled only if he lay on a pillow for this heightened my anxiety further as I was scared he’d die. SIDS is a huge worry for me as a loss in my extended family had already happened years ago.

So much so I was crying out in my sleep asking for the baby, scared if my oh took him away out of the room so I couldn’t hear him cry. He was so precious I turned into a nightmare of over protectiveness that at nearly 17 months is just about easing.

The nightmares were vivid and the fear was controlling my every waking moment.

We researched how to cosleep safely with a baby. No duvet near them (you’d be surprised how quickly you get used to a colder upper body), no pillows & sleep with an arm stretched out to prevent you rolling. My oh also began sleeping in the spare room to give us more space.

So in January we decided (after numerous earlier attempts) he’d be in his cot by 18 months… Crazy New Year Resolutions

Fast forward 5 months and I’d finally psyched myself up to do it: sleep separately from my son.

It’s been no easy feat, but we know he sleeps on his own at Nursery. So we thought we’d give it a try.

First night we tried we were unsuccessful whether he could sense my nervousness and then stress, whether it was because it was just me trying to do it without the presence of my other half – who knows but after an hour or more of tears and not settling we aborted. I remember this was a Saturday night.

Over the lifetime of our little one we have researched several sleep training methods but a key thing that’s stood out to us, one advises your child will not be ready to transition if they cry for three hours! Im not going to distress my kid for 3 hours! 

So we decided if he wouldn’t settle after an hour we’d abort! So we did.

But the night he decided to sleep in his cot we had one of his nursery teachers come over to babysit and put him to bed. And it worked! He was ill that night though so bad timing but from that night he has been in his bed so mid June 2017.

We stayed at night to read him several stories, I slept on the floor and we did the waiting til he fell asleep before walking out and gradual retreating until eventually we can just put him in and walk away and he falls asleep on his own. If he cries out we go in and we still use the video camera to check on him.

He also sleeps with a sleepyhead but like last night he can sleep without it too.

Overall having a little one sleep on their own is great for you getting time back for yourselves but at the same time you should so it at your own pace in your own way x

Please feel free to ask any questions 🙂

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Parenthood Is Unique

Parenthood is unique to each individual. The journey you are about to embark upon is different for each person, each and every pregnancy is different – if the pregnancy is yours, your partners or if you’re entering parenthood through adoption.

Your journey might be starting a conscious decision to start a family or you may have just found out you’re pregnant- in which case Congratulations!

What ever stage you are in of parenthood – always remember you and your baby are unique. We are here with you on your journey and remember:

Always follow and trust your instincts as they can make a real difference.